


Spiral

by SpecialHell



Series: Stucky AU series with Random Verbs for Titles [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 22:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17754752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpecialHell/pseuds/SpecialHell
Summary: Steve and Bucky plan to go out. Steve's brain hates him. Sam is helpful.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve's eyes blinked open reluctantly at the sound of his phone chiming. He check the clock, which was mocking him with its bright LEDs saying 11:30 - it was Monday morning, and Steve had already slept half of it away.   
He wasn't going to beat himself up. The weekend had been hard. He'd spent all of Sunday just trying to get himself back into a good headspace. He'd missed going to the animal shelter, but he felt better today, so it was a fair trade.  
His phone chimed again, and Steve reached out blindly to pick it up. He squinted at the too-bright screen, and felt a squeeze in his chest at the name staring back at him.

**Bucky:** _I think we should go out._

**Bucky:** _Together._

**Bucky:** _On a date._

Steve's heart leapt into his throat, and he scrambled into a sitting position to reply.

**Steve:** _Yeah_

**Steve:** _I mean, I'd like that :)_

Steve was torn between getting out of bed and making himself vaguely human, and staring at his phone so he wouldn't miss Bucky's reply. He didn't have to wait long.

**Bucky:** _Great! You're off this week, right?_

**Steve:** _Yep. Did you have a day in mind?_

If it was up to Steve they'd go out today and never leave each other's side again.  
 _No. Don't start that. Bad things happen when you let your heart lead._

**Bucky:** _I'm free Thursday. I figured we could make a day of it?_

Steve's heart was ignoring him. It was soaring away with all the good things that could happen if they just let themselves have this. Steve's face wasn't on his side either, if the huge grin he couldn't suppress was any indication.

**Steve:** _Sounds perfect, I can't wait :)_


	2. Chapter 2

It took Steve until 1pm to get himself awake, washed, fed, and dressed. In that time he'd also managed to work himself into a panic. Bucky was too good to be true. He was certainly too good for _Steve_ and this date was going to make him realise that.   
Taking a deep breath, Steve tried to calm himself. He knew he couldn't call Natasha at work, but he really needed her no-nonsense brand of pep talk. Sam was the next option. Steve dialled him with shaking hands. Sam's advice was always measured and kind, but Steve felt like what he needed right now was a verbal smack to the head.

_"Dr. Wilson"_

Sam must be busy. He hadn't checked the caller ID. Steve instantly felt bad, but it was too late now.

"Sam. Hey. Sorry, am I interrupting?"

_"No, it's fine. I'm just filling out some paperwork. Super boring. What's up?"_

Steve took another deep breath. He knew that babbling all his fears down the phone to Sam wouldn't help anyone.

"I need you to tell me I'm being an idiot."

_"Okay... Any particular reason?"_

"Bucky asked me out, and I said yes, but now I'm freaking that maybe it's a bad idea because he's too good for me and I'm such a mess and-"

_"Steve."_ Sam's tone was firm, and Steve stopped rambling.

"Yeah?"

_"You're being an idiot."_

Steve laughed in relief, and he could hear the smile in Sam's voice as he continued.

_"Bucky likes you, and you like him. Just let yourself enjoy this, and try not to worry so much."_

"Ok," Steve blew out a heavy breath. "Ok, thanks Sam. Sorry for calling you at work."

_"Don't be. You know I'm always here for you, man."_

Steve couldn't reply, and Sam understood. There was always that fear in the back of Steve's head. The one that whispered, telling him sooner or later everyone will leave. Sam said a quick goodbye on the other end of the phone, and Steve thanked him once more before hanging up.


	3. Chapter 3

When Tuesday morning arrived, an excruciating 18 hours later, Steve was climbing the walls. He decided to head down to the shelter. Sunday was his usual day, but since he'd missed this week he figured a break in routine wouldn't hurt.

It hurt.

"I'm sorry, Steve," the perky brunette who covered the desk from Sunday to Thursday was looking at him with genuine sympathy. "Sierra got picked up yesterday. She's gone to a really great home; I know she'll be happy there."

Steve nodded along as the brunette - Darcy, he reminded himself - told him all about the big garden Sierra would get to play in upstate, and the two children she was going to make _so_ happy. He made the rounds, visiting all the dogs and giving them his affection, but his mind was adrift. If only he'd pulled his sorry self out of bed on Sunday. He would have been able to say goodbye. Had Sierra missed him when he didn't show up? The way the other dogs were reacting to his visit told him the answer was _yes_ \- and he hadn't been there to shake her new family's hands and wish them all well.

By the time Steve got back to his apartment, he was spiralling hard. His logical brain was telling him that he'd needed that day to himself, that he wouldn't have been any use to anyone in his state of despair. The anxiety brain was telling a different story, and right now that part was louder than anything else. It wasn't long before missing Sierra's adoption linked on to potentially missing important events in the lives of the people he loved.

Steve's body started moving without his mind's input, and before he knew it there was a ringing phone pressed to his ear, followed by Bucky's soft voice drifting over the line.

_"Steve."_

Bucky sounded happy to hear from him, and Steve's heart dropped further. He was interrupting his obviously pleasant day just to bring him down with Steve's sad news.

"Hey. Sorry." Steve's mind raced to find something to say. "Sorry. I'm interrupting. Are you at work right now? I shouldn't have called you while you're working." Of course Steve didn't know if Bucky was working, because Steve didn't know what Bucky _did_ , because Steve had never _asked_.

_"Steve."_ The tone was firmer this time. Designed to pull someone out of a spiral. Steve would have to remember to ask Bucky how he learned that tone.

"Sierra's gone," Steve blurted before he could stop himself. "I didn't go to the shelter on Sunday, and she's been adopted, and..." Steve took a deep breath and decided to be honest. "I was upset. I wanted to hear your voice. I'm sorry."

There was a soft chuckle down the line, which unknotted some of Steve's anguish. _"Don't be sorry. I'm flattered you wanted to talk to me. I know you were kinda in love with that dog, and I know missing out on saying goodbye sucks."_

Steve wanted to say 'thank you' and inquire about Bucky's day, like a normal person. His mouth had other ideas.

"But I just called you out of nowhere and interrupted your day to whine about a dog that I didn't even own, and for all I know I'm taking up your lunch break right now because I don't even know what you do for a job since I've never asked you anything about yourself, but here you are being so sweet and supportive to a basic stranger who's having his second meltdown on you in less than two weeks!"

_"Breathe, Steve. Take a breath."_

Steve hadn't realised he was hyperventilating until Bucky said that. He lowered himself to the floor, phone pressed to his ear, and tried to calm his breathing.

Bucky's voice was steady over the line, and the teasing note helped soothe Steve.

_"Right now I'm in my living room. I'm reading a book and drinking coffee. I'm on an evening shift tonight, so I woke up about three hours ago. I don't have to leave for another hour and a half. You're not interrupting anything, and I'm glad to hear from you."_

Steve blew out another breath and let his head fall back onto his shoulders.

"Thanks. Sorry."

_"You say 'sorry' one more time and I'm telling Natasha on you."_

Steve laughed aloud at that, feeling better already.

"You would never be so cruel!" Steve was smiling as he spoke.

_"Don't test me."_ It was meant to be a joke, but Bucky's voice came out breathier than he maybe intended. Steve swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.

"You'll have to tell me how you got so good at handling lunatics," Steve said, eager to change the subject

_"You're not a lunatic,"_ the reprimand was soft, but it was there. _"We'll have plenty of time to awkwardly share our emotional baggage on Thursday."_

Steve's heart leapt at that. Bucky still wanted to go out with him.

"Sounds great," Steve sighed. "I was thinking we could head over to Coney Island. I haven't been in a long time."

_"Perfect,"_ Bucky was moving around, the rustling of his book came down the phone. Steve cleared his throat.

"I should probably let you get ready," Steve was trying for cheerful, but it came out reluctant. "Have a great day at... Hey, I still don't know what you do."

_"I work security at a Caberet club."_

"That sounds like something I need to hear a lot more about," Steve was almost giggling, but Bucky still sounded happy as he replied.

_"We got plenty of time. Maybe I'll take you there one night."_

"I'd like that."

Silence flowed between the two for a moment, as neither wanted to hang up. Eventually Steve heaved a sigh.

"I should let you go."

_"Alright,"_ Bucky didn't sound too happy about it either. _"I'll text you when I get home, ok? Might be late."_

"I'll be home all night," Steve replied eagerly. "Talk soon?"

_"Count on it."_

Bucky hung up without anything further. Steve understood why. If they started saying goodbye again, Bucky would definitely be late for work.

**Author's Note:**

> As ever, if you want to see the hand-flailing that goes along with my writing and/or want to talk utter nonsense about fandom, you can find me @HellWrites on Twitter.


End file.
